A Wave Of Grief On The Roughest Ocean.

Apologies to everyone who is following our journey, once again my grief has swept me away. Today it’s presenting itself in mass anxiety, I fear everything and can’t quite catch my breath – like I’m stuck in the ocean with waves crashing all around me and I’m desperately trying to breathe between the waves just to stay alive! It’s Paisley’s birthday tomorrow and I think that’s adding to it, it was coming up to Londyn’s birthday when the baby was born, it was also 17 years ago that I had my miscarriage, I think it’s all just a bit much and so for the fear of pushing myself over the edge and giving myself a heart attack (I’m not even kidding, these are the fears and thoughts I live with everyday) I won’t be writing part 22 today. I need to let the storm pass and the sea settle, the rational side of my brain knows that I’ll be ok but today the irrational scared side is much stronger and so for the sake of my children and my sanity I’m having a day of from reliving it all. I will be back, I will continue to share our baby’s journey and I hope you will all understand and continue to follow the story, you have no Idea how much strength and comfort I get from knowing you’re all reading this, knowing you all want to know our baby! So thank you, so so much! 💕💕💕