I went home just a little bit more broken, as Anji reversed into my street I could have sworn I saw something, a man dressed in faded black rags but when I looked again he was gone I tried not to think anything of it and then Anji seemed to see something too, she jumped a little and said it looked like someone just ran behind the car, she said it must have been a cat but I was convinced it was death coming to get me. I didn’t say anything to Anji as I didn’t want to scare her but I made her promise to text me when she was back in her house and safe.
I went in and told Nathan about my visit with Boris (he wanted to hear about him, he just can’t face seeing him again) we went up to bed and started looking at girls names, we ruled out loads but neither of us wanted to say the ones we liked for fear that the other would just go along with it so we left it there and we were about to settle down to sleep when I got this sudden rush of cold all over my body “something’s wrong!” I told Nathan he asked what I meant “I don’t know but something is wrong, I’m going to die, I can feel it, please help me I don’t want to die, I don’t want to leave the girls!” I couldn’t breathe, my heart was pounding and I was freezing cold! I phoned the hospital again, the lady that had seen me earlier was there, she tried to talk me through it but I couldn’t shake the feeling so she said to go back in and they’d do some more tests. I phoned Anji and told her I needed to go back in and she came and got me.
We got to the hospital and back to that room we went, they made us a cuppa and done my observations. The midwife was so patient with me, her name was Sarah, she talked me through everything she was doing and what she was expecting to find if I was healthy and then showing me that everything was within the healthy range. A doctor came in and discussed blood clots with me, I was convinced this was what was happening to me. They gave me compression socks to stop blood clots and told me that they were giving them to me for my piece of mind and not because they felt I was in anyway at risk. We were there all night, they wanted me to see a psychiatrist but there wasn’t anyone in until Monday so they called the crisis team who had worked with me in the past. They decided the bast thing to do to get me through the weekend was to prescribe me diazepam and refer me to the mental health hospital for a review and I had to make an appointment with my GP to discuss further treatment. They gave me some diazepam and asked me to stay so they could see it was working and I was calm and then they wrote me a prescription and we left.
By this time it was Sunday 23rd December, I didn’t want Londyn knowing what was happening as she would panic and it was her birthday tomorrow, I didn’t want to ruin it for her so I called Nathan and asked him to tell her I’d gone out first thing to get some things for her birthday. We went to Asda to pick up my prescription and we got 3 helium birthday balloons whilst we were there. Londyn’s face lit up when she saw them “mummy, thank you, is that why you went out with Annie Anich this morning?” She asked (Londyn couldn’t say auntie Anji when she was small, so she called her Annie Anich and it stuck!) “Yes” I replied “you can’t have a birthday without balloons!” With that I told her I had a headache and was going to lay down for a while and could she look after Nathan for me. She laughed and said yes and I took myself off to bed where I finally got some sleep.
Nayely Adelpha Foundation 