Wednesday January 30th we went to Taunton to get Nathan some trousers for the funeral, whilst we were there I popped in to see Nayely and tell her her name, I read the poems we’d chosen and played her the music. I told her I was sorry for calling her a boy for all this time but explained that she was in good company as I’d called both of her older sisters boys all through their pregnancies too! I explained that her names translated mean I love you and beloved sister. I told her that I’d be back tomorrow to put her to bed one last time and that I love her more than she’ll ever know and I’ll see her in my dreams and hold her in my heart until I join her in the clouds!
Before I left I asked the lady if I could have one of the 2 teddies she had with her and if I could keep her cord and clip, I just wanted to keep the bit that had joined us for those 16+3 weeks, I’d wanted to keep the girls cords but I’m scared of the cord so I can’t deal with it when it falls off and their dads wouldn’t let me keep them but there was no one there to stop me from keeping Nayelys cord so I took my opportunity. The teddy smelt so strong of her, I clung to it all day, just sniffing it. The smell made me feel calm, like she was still with me. I can still smell it in my head when I think about her, sometimes it’s comforting others it hurts.
Once I’d said goodbye again we went to look at her flowers, as I got out of the car I saw some that’s had been made up and my heart sank, I hoped they weren’t hers, they were too big and clumsy! We went in and there was the most beautiful and delicate display of foam daisy’s and forget-me-nots it was so much better than I’d imagined, there was just one thing missing, it needed a butterfly but it had to be small so as not to overbalance it, the lady in the shop pulled out the perfect sized little white butterfly and placed it on the wreath, perfect! The shop is called flower magic, and it truly is magic, the lady had hand clipped each flower and attached them perfectly because in her words “I did look for readymade ones but nothing seemed delicate enough for your little girl and I wanted it to be perfect!” And they are, everything we wanted and more!
Nayely Adelpha Foundation 