Thursday 31st January, the day started as normal, we done the school run and met up with Charlie to go to Taunton to get the food for the wake and to put our girl to bed for the final time. It had snowed yesterday and they’d given for more but when we got up this morning the sun was shining and it was like it had never happened, I wish life could be like that, I’ll just wake up still pregnant like it never happened!
We drove over to Taunton and bought the bits we needed. Paisley was sat on the flatbed and just as we got to the till she fell off and bumped her head, a rather impressive lump and a bruise came up straight away, I felt sick, she’s always bumping herself and falling, it’s part of being a toddler but since we lost Nayely I can’t see it like that anymore.
After shopping we went to get lunch, we took the kids to one of those places that have the indoor soft play so they could play while we were waiting for the food, they loved it, I however couldn’t relax for the fear that Paisley woul fall off something and get hurt again!
13:30 came around to quickly and it was time to go and see Nayely, Nathan decided to come with me this time. This was the first time he’d seen her since the day after she was born, it was also the last time we would ever get to see her. We went into the room and she was bought through to us, Nathan held her to start with. We talked to her about her journey and how much we were looking forward to having her home we just wish she could have come home alive! We cried, a lot! Then Nathan kissed her and passed her to me, he said he couldn’t stay to watch me put her in the casket and so he waited in the next room from me, the lady bought out the casket and a screwdriver, she left me for a few moments to say my last goodbye and then she came and stood with me whilst I put my daughter to bed for the very last time! I laid her down in the bottom of the casket and lifted her tiny arm up over her teddy, I kissed her beautiful cheek one last time and took a deep breath in, I never want to forget that smell, her smell. I told her that we all love her very much, in fact we love her 8 because 8 has no end. I told her that I would see her tomorrow and I hope we do her proud, I will always love her, always miss her and never forget her and then I put the lid on and tightened the screws – that was it, I’ll never see my baby agin, I’ll never get to hold her hand or kiss her skin. I’ll never forget the way she smelt, the touch of her almost weightless body in my hand or the feel of her skin against my lips, I’ll never forget her, I’ll never stop yearning for her and my heart will never heal!
Nayely Adelpha Foundation 