As we went to bed on the 31st it started snowing, I hoped it wouldn’t settle but we had a backup plan if it did, we know enough people with 4x4s, I didn’t know what would have happened if we couldn’t get there – would they just do her funeral without us?
The next morning we woke up all too soon. We both felt strange, calm and normal not like we were going to our babys funeral today, more like we were going to a christening. I felt guilty for feeling ok but if that’s what my mind needed to do to get me through then what could I do!? We opened the blind to see a white blanket over the town, not only had the snow settled but it was thick! Nathan said he would go into town and see what the main roads were like. Whilst he was gone Julia phoned me, I thought she was going to say she couldn’t do the funeral but I was wrong, she was just checking we could get there, I told her we could but I didn’t know about anyone else, she said we could postpone it if we wanted but that felt like the wrong thing to do, she needed laying to rest.
Nathan got home and said that once you’re out of our street the roads are fine so we were going in our car. And hopefully that would also mean that other people would be able to get there too although we’d have understood if they chose not to.
We got dressed and ready to go, I wore the dress I’d worn to my girlie Christmas meal, it was the last time I’d got dressed up blissfully unaware of what would happen, happy and still pregnant, I wonder if I’ll ever be that happy again? Nathan wore a shirt and trousers with a plumb tie to match my tights and Paisley wore a pink and plumb dress. We always try to dress with an accent colour so we look like we’re together and we felt that today should be no different. we decided we would leave earlier so we could drive with caution (although this really wasn’t necessary in the end, the roads were absolutely fine.) We decided to leave at 12:30, this would give us an hour to do a 30 minute drive. I checked the time, it was only 11am and we were all ready. Charlie called to let us know that the hall was all set up and ready to go. So many people sent us messages of support and love it was very touching.
The time came when we had to leave, I still felt surprisingly calm, the drive over was fine, the roads were completely clear and so we actually got to the hospital early. We went up and waited outside the chapel, a man walked past with a black sports type bag and went into the chapel, I looked at Nathan ” that’s her” I said “Nayely’s in that bag” I don’t know how I knew but I did, it was her and once the man left with the bag Julia took us in to be with her, we sat and talked to her still feeling too calm, too ok with what was happening. We had an hour before people were due to arrive, at this point we still didn’t know exactly who to expect, we knew that some people were already at the hospital in the cafe but we didn’t know who else would make it and at that moment we weren’t even that bothered, we had one hour left with our girl before we had to start our final goodbye.
Nayely Adelpha Foundation 