The days following the funeral felt long and empty, I don’t remember a lot of what happened. I know we had Londyn’s parents evening which was a bit of a trigger, her last parents evening I was pregnant. Her teacher commented on how quiet Londyn has been and that she often looks distracted, she said that Londyn was spending some time with the school nurse and she knows she can talk to her teachers if ever she’s struggling. She also said that despite everything that Londyn is going through her school work is top standard and in some areas she’s at a higher grade than expected, Londyn is a pleasure to heve in the class, she’s friends with many groups and will try to help anyone if she can. I of course already know how wonderful she is as I have the pleasure of being her mum but it’s still nice to hear it from other people.
We set up the Nayely Adelpha Foundation page on Facebook, ordered charity wristbands, charity collection boxes and started looking into what we needed to do to set up our own sibling bereavement support courses. It’s not going to happen overnight it’ll take time to raise money and get the training required but we had a focus, something we could do to help others in our situation and all in memory of our girl, her name will be spoken, her story will be told!
On the 6th of February Londyn’s dad and his girlfriend went in to be induced so Londyn was staying with me for the week, Gary was adamant they would go in and have the baby on the same day, he clearly can’t remember Londyn’s birth! We were awaiting a call to say we could pick Nayely up so I told him that I’d take Lonnie to see him if they were still in.
On the 7th February we got the call, she was back at the hospital and ready for us. I contacted Gary so that Londyn could see him because just as I said they would be, they were still in. Londyn didn’t want to come with us to collect Nayely so Gary took her to the cafe for hot chocolate. We went up to the chapel and there was Julia holding a purple bag, in the bag was Nayely. She passed her to me with a letter (the letter was something we need if we want to scatter her I think) the urn is beautiful and will go perfectly on her shelf with all her beautiful things. We asked Julia if she would take photos of us with Nayely, in the same way you would if you were bringing a live baby home from hospital. We wanted it all done properly, this is a sad time but we did get to bring our baby home, I’d never had this opportunity with the other two I lost.
We thanked Julia again and headed off to the cafe to get Londyn, she was excited to see us (more to see Nayely) she wanted to hold her, I told her she could when we get home. We sat and had coffee with Gary to give Londyn a bit more time with him and while we were waiting Nathan set up the WordPress site so we could start blogging.
We got home and whilst Nathan was cooking dinner Londyn got Nayely out, she had a cuddle and a little chat with her and then she said it was time for bed and we put her on her shelf, it felt so right to have her home, it was happening the wrong way but she was finally back with us!
This has covered pregnancy, Loss and parts of grief but it’s taking its toll on my mental health. I will be continuing with the journey but it won’t be every day, maybe not even every week. Nathan and I will continue to blog with other things but as I have done so far if I’m blogging our journey I’ll always title it Pregnancy, Loss, Grief And Beyond. Thank you so much for following us this far, I hope you all understand, i guess a massive part of grief is that you have to be selfish sometimes, I need to put my mental health first for the sake of Londyn, Paisley and Nayely. Grief and beyond to be continued.
Nayely Adelpha Foundation 