Who decides which box is yours?

Throughout life we find ourselves being put into boxes or groups. Sometimes that’s OK, sometimes it’s not.
For instance, if you were put into a certain group for your own safety (boxing weight divisions for example) most would deem that acceptable.
The problem is not everything can be decided this way.
This is why I’m writing this piece.
Boxes can be closed but even if you can keep a lid on it most of the time the ‘box’ that is grief can never truly be closed.

So why do people try to categorise grief?
Is it to give the rest of social easier cues to read? Is it to make it easier for others to know what to say and when?

Everyone manages their feelings and emotions differently so it’s impossible to put each person in a box. More than that though, why are we trying?

Society is so diverse. So many people, so many choices yet people still choose to categorise grief.

It’s been ……… since…………. happened. Isn’t it time to move on? Maybe it is or maybe that person needs more time. They will never be totally healed, it’s not possible.

Noone has the right to dictate how long someone grieves for. Or how they grieve.
Grieving isn’t determined by certain criteria. Everybody does it differently. Everybody has the right to do it their own way.
Silently, angrily, loud, destructive it doesn’t matter as long as it is helping the person suffering.

So please stop trying to put peoples grief in boxes.

If you don’t want to help deal with someones grief then just leave them alone.

Remember if you are grieving then do it your way. Whatever helps you to cope with the darkness. Be true to your own feelings. Don’t let others dictate your grief.