Divorce following loss.

I’ve just read an interesting piece online about divorce after loss and it got me thinking. If the death of a child is the reason cited for divorce then why is that? The following piece just scratches the surface of this matter. I would welcome your thoughts so please feel free to share them with me.

So why might grief be cited as the reason for divorce?

Each partner becomes deeply involved in his or her own grief and is often dissatisfied with the quality or depth of their spouse’s grief so when this is then coupled with the anger, frustration, guilt and blame that often surround a child’s death, parental bereavement can be a time of extreme volatility in a marriage.
It’s extremely important that each spouse understands the importance of communication (sharing of feelings), one partner should not judge themselves for the way they reacted to the loss, they should not judge their partner either.
It is vital that during this process we recognise that no two people grieve alike, so there is wide range of differences in the expression of grief.
These differences between the partners grief may cause one or both parties to feel that their partner has rejected them or that their grief is in someway less important.
A bereaved couple may find it impossible to give comfort to each other when both are feeling a similar type of grief.
Each partner may expect too much and give too little.
This combination of feelings can create a huge divide in a relationship, but it can be avoided if each accepts that they are both deeply hurting and they work together to address their feelings without judgment.
Many of the negative reactions and stresses that are experienced through your marriage result from your pain of loss and not from something lacking in your relationship and it’s important to remember that although you may feel pushed away your partner needs you now more than ever.

Further reading did highlight this statistic which suggests the previous piece I read may not have been factually correct.

However, it is not true that most couples divorce after the loss of child. Recent studies offer some hope, showing that a much lower rate of divorces – only 12–16% — are related to the loss of a child. Perhaps with more of an understanding about grief, there will be even fewer. Just think about your partner and the way you feel about them. Do you or your partner need more? If you do then please talk to them.