Author: nayelyadelphafoundation

Sitting on the sofa last night Facebook messenger starts pinging. As we look at the notifications a message from a man comes through.

This is the first message we have received from a man. He started off by telling us what his partner had been through, everything was about her, until we spoke a little more.

This man was in need of support. It seemed like he was looking for support for his partner but in reality it was support for himself that he was seeking.

We spoke about the expectations placed upon men by society.

We are supposed to be the strong one. The one who is supposed to hold everything together. The ones who don’t show their emotions because we have to think about other people.

In reality this couldn’t be further from the truth.

We do need support, we do need to grieve. Crying, shouting, breaking things, however we choose to deal with it we should be allowed to do that.

After speaking with this man for only a short time I hope he will now be more honest with his partner. He was hiding his feelings from her, he didn’t talk to her because he didn’t want to upset her. He buried his own feelings to protect hers.

He has assured me that he will talk to her about how he is feeling, about how she is feeling and how they feel about each other.

It’s OK to not be OK.

If you know someone who needs support following baby loss then search for NAYELY ADELPHA FOUNDATION on Facebook and Instagram and we will try to help everyone who makes contact.

Through all of the hate messages and negative comments it’s difficult to keep going with our campaign but then someone reaches out like this and it reminds us exactly why we’re doing this. Baby loss is a secret community that affects so many of us? So why is it secret??? Why are we suffering in silence?? We WILL break the silence and support others who feel the pain we feel. Baby loss is sad and lonely but it’s not shameful, it’s not something we choose and we shouldn’t be made to feel like our angel babies are dirty secrets. I’m proud of my children, angels and living! 👼🧑👼👧👧👼

As the title of our first big event suggests we will be ‘going bald for baby loss’

The reason we chose this approach is as follows and is actually very simple.

It’s a drastic change to someones appearance, it’s enough to cause a shock factor but not enough to be detrimental to anyone.

The shock element following the event will be enough to make people question why someone had gone under such a drastic change to their appearance.

So in short the reason we opted to go bald for baby loss is to make people ask questions, to get people talking about baby loss and to raise awareness of Baby Loss and unfortunately how common it is but how little it’s spoken about.

Help us to break the silence, speak out and share your experiences with us and others, do what you can to stop baby loss being a dark secret.

So in addition to my previous blog my social media platforms have been awash with even more bullshit.

A couple who have planned their wedding, booked their wedding but couldn’t be arsed to pay for their own wedding. So what do they do? Set up a GoFundMe page. At my last check it was up to £1700 out of £2000 target.

Now I’m not saying that people shouldn’t have the wedding they want but for you to get what you want you should have the means to pay for it.

Ourselves and various other organisations who work to raise awareness of Baby Loss, support for families suffering loss and fund research into prevention of Baby Loss are struggling to collect donations to continue our work.

If you were to walk down the street and ask people for money to go to the pub, go on holiday or for anything else that could be classed as frivolous they would tell you to take a running jump.

So why do we live in a world where we will invest our hard earned money into pointless projects whilst refusing to give to charities that are working hard to make people’s lives better and to research preventable instances.

When one day for a stranger appears more important than the potential lives of thousands it is very demoralising as we work to raise more money to fund charity work.

This issue is only compounded by large social media pages getting behind stories like the funding weddings but refusing to take on the taboo subjects.

Please keep sharing, following and sharing our story.

Search for NAYELY ADELPHA FOUNDATION on Facebook and Instagram

Please visit our just giving page and leave a donation if you choose.

Our aim with this event is to raise £10,000 in memory of our beautiful daughter Nayely. All money raised will be donated to charities who not only support families who have suffered the loss of a baby but also charities who support research to help prevent baby loss.

The charities we have chosen have helped us through our journey of loss and we just want to be able to give something back so they can continue their great work in supporting other families who face the same tragedy we have

Many thanks in advance, please click the link below to learn more about our story and if you choose to leave a donation of any amount it is greatly appreciated.

:http//Justgiving.com/crowdfunding/GoBaldForBabyLoss

https://www.facebook.com/events/247147276221836/?ti=as

I’m not going to lie I have always used the Internet alot. I never really took any notice of what I was looking at, just sitting aimlessly scrolling for hours on end.

Since Nayely died I have been alot more selective of the material I view online. Trying to avoid the endless scrolling or though most days I can’t help it.

What is shocking though is how much s**t is online.

I mean take the photo attached to this blog for instance.

129,000 posts on Instagram relating to baby loss. Now based on the statistics that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage those numbers on Instagram seem very low for such a heartbreaking subject.

However, 3.5 million posts on the same app for glitter nails. I mean seriously.

What the bloody hell are we doing as human beings that means glitter nails gets over 25 times more exposure than babyloss.

I know it’s a taboo subject and the purpose of these blogs is to try and break down societies resistance when it comes to talking about these matters.

We always knew it was going to be bloody hard work spreading our message but when we are trying to get voices heard over people who think that the state of their nails is something people might care about it seems like it’s going to be an even bigger task than we thought.

Nathan Clapp – Nayelys Daddy

Isn’t it shocking that despite the fact we live in a world where we can put people in space, explore the deepest oceans, travel to the other side of the world in less than a day statistics like this are still acceptable?

As we push forward with our efforts to raise awareness of Baby Loss we want to make a positive impact on such statistics.

Our aim is to increase peoples knowledge of Baby Loss, work to remove the stigma attached to baby loss, educate people in ways to deal with this horrible situation as well as offer siblings a safe place to express how they feel regardless of how they choose to do so.

Since we found ourselves in this situation we have found that sibling care is an area that is very lacking where we live.

Whether you have suffered loss yourself or not there is a very high chance that you know someone who has as statistics state that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.

You can help to make a difference. Whether that be a financial contribution to our cause, talking to someone who has experienced loss or sharing your experiences with us and others.

We look forward to offering you some sort of insight into our lives, our struggles, our continued fundraising efforts and if you need it somewhere to sound off and share your experiences.

To donate to our appeal please click the link below:

http://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/GoBaldForBabyLoss

Follow us on Twitter @AdelphaNayely

and Instagram @nayelyadelpha